To Have Not Even A Name
by watchingpaintdry
Summary: Neither of them expected it to grow into something like this. It had started as nothing more than a battle of wits, a game to see which was the better combatant.
1. The Battle of Wits

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Neither of them ever expected it to grow into this.

It had started with nothing more than a battle of wits, a game to see which was the better combatant, though not on the battlefield.

She didn't even remember when it had started. Maybe that day, at the beginning of her "imprisonment", when she had first set eyes on him. On his slightly hunched, angry form, permanent scowl in place, untidy blue hair sticking out in all directions as he glared at her with those shockingly bright eyes. Eyes filled with anger, resentment, and hatred. She felt an odd stirring in her chest when she looked into those eyes, and it took her a moment to realize why they were so familiar. She had seen a similar expression in the bathroom mirror many times.

For him, he didn't know exactly when it had begun. Maybe that first day, when he saw her, standing before Aizen, eyes narrowed in anger as the ex-shinigami smirked, waving his hand nonchalantly towards a completely still Tosen, who's Zanpaku-to was held mere centimeters from her lieutenant's throat. Maybe it had started for him when she had nodded her head in defeat, had turned and followed Uluqiorra out of the room, but paused at the doorway, had looked back, and smirked, even as the wall behind Aizen shattered, raining plaster and stone down on them.

Neither of them ever expected it to grow into something like this, a desperate struggle between the two, each trying their hardest to break the other, totally and completely.

For both of them, it had gone far beyond the bonds of hatred, transcended love, and left far behind any other emotion either of them could think of. It was something none could fathom, a feeling so powerful that it had not even a name.

X-X-X-X-X

Kaida sat cross legged on the floor, in a pool of moonlight, eyes closed, hands resting on her knees, when she heard the door creak open. Footsteps approached her, familiar footsteps, steady, but with a certain swagger of arrogance to them that could belong to only one person.

Dark red eyes flashed in the moonlight as she turned her head ever so slightly, in acknowledgment of his presence. Indeed, he stood right behind her, hands stuffed into the pockets of his white hakama, scowling at her with his usual grumpy expression.

Smirking, she turned back around to face the window, closing her eyes again.

"So, which side of the bed did you wake up on today?" she asked, a hint of amusement in her voice. She could almost feel his scowl spreading, but he kept his composure.

"I don't sleep." He said coolly, but his answer startled her, despite the apparent note of sarcasm inflected in his voice. So much so, in fact, that her eyes snapped open and she twisted her neck so that she could look at him fully. What really startled her was that he had answered her in the first place. Usually, they answered each other's scathing questions with scathing questions, not blatant, dull edged answers.

She blinked, then sighed, before pushing herself to her feet, finally facing him fully.

"Tired?" she asked.

"That time of the month?" Ah, that was more like it. She smiled.

"No, but then again, you've got nowhere to talk." Okay, if she was frank, that was a low blow, even for her, and it showed in his slightly twitching eyebrow. He tilted his head to the side, regarding her curiously as he stuffed his hands deeper into his pockets. His frown spread.

"I didn't know this had turned into a pissing match." She sighed.

"Quite frankly, I don't know what all this has turned into." She said under her breathe, not looking at him, but absentmindedly running her fingers through her hair. She sighed again, eyes closing, before tensing suddenly.

His spiritual pressure had moved, and, judging from his reiatsu, and the wall that had just materialized behind her, he was now a little too close for comfort. Opening her eyes, she was met with an empty room. In conformation of everything she already knew, the "wall" behind her took a breathe, and sighed. That, and it was a shockingly warm wall.

"You're too close, Grimmjow." Said Kaida, eyes downcast as she spoke, but voice strong and resolute. It wasn't her intention to drive him away fully, but as he became bolder the longer their game went on, the more familiar each of them was becoming with each other's personal space. That, and each of them was seeing just how far they could push that particular boundary.

He seemed, deep down, to crave the physical contact. It seemed to calm him somewhat, and, despite everything she told herself, it had a similar affect on Kaida, as well. It was also one of the few, rare moments when each allowed the other to see a deadly weakness, and trust the other completely to not use that against them. It had worked, so far.

He sighed again, but didn't move. Instead, she felt him lean his forehead on her shoulder, his hair tickling her neck. A soft brush of lips on her skin made her shiver. Almost.

Turning her head slightly, she could just make out his dark shape in the half-light, his taller frame hunched over so that he could lean against her. His hands were still resolutely stuffed into his pockets, though she could tell, by the straining muscles in his arms, that he was exerting a huge amount of self control to keep them there.

"Uluqiorra's been making some odd comments as of late." She said, not knowing how to break the strange silence. He only snorted, nose still buried against her skin.

"The trained dog can go fuck himself, for all I care. If he's so concerned, he would have done something by now." He sighed again, before straightening, looking down on her with a strange expression on his half-shadowed face. She turned, so that they were facing each other again. They stood there, unblinking, seeing who would balk first. It was their usual way of parting, a last ditch attempt by both parties to gain a slight upper hand over the other.

However, it was the door creaking open and Uluqiorra sticking his head in that ended the match, as both looked away at the same time.

She smiled slightly as they turned their backs on each other.

"Sorry, handsome, better luck next time."

His only reply was a deft snort, before he stormed from the room in his usual fashion.

As Kaida sat down to her dinner, Uluqiorra giving her a funny look, which she pointedly ignored, she couldn't help thinking that it was getting to the point where she could read him maybe a little too well.

X-X-X-X-X

He had first entered her quarters, purely out of curiosity, maybe a week after she had gotten there, and he found her in a rather odd state. She was sitting on the floor, cross legged, staring out the window, humming to herself. At first, he had just stood at the doorway, completely struck dumb by the simplicity of it all. She was a freaking captain for crying out loud, wasn't she just a tad bit concerned that she was here, in Hueco Mundo, with Aizen and his Arancar, hopelessly outnumbered, without even her Zanpaku-to to protect herself with?

As he stared at her, illuminated by the moonlight, he had a strange sense of familiarity with the whole scene, and had found himself making his way to a chair, and sitting, and just listening to her sing softly to herself, eyes closed, swaying slightly from side to side, hands folded gently in her lap. It created a strange sensation in the pit of his stomach, and it took him a while to realize that it was a mixture of peace and calm.

And so it had gone on for several weeks, him coming in after her dinner had been served and Uluqiorra had wandered off to his own quarters for the night, when the halls were silent, all except for the soft sounds of her gentle singing.

Slowly, he had started coming more often, in "daylight" hours, and would just sit and watch her stare out that one window. Finally, one day, when he just couldn't take it any longer, he had asked her why she kept staring out the window.

She smiled, and asked him why he didn't.

He had, of course, scoffed at her, and said that he had better things to do than to stare out a window all day, at which point she had shrugged and made a snide comment asking how watching her sing after hours was his way of "better things to do".

He hadn't entered her quarters for a week after that.

He only returned after a midnight jaunt past her quarters yielded no signs of singing. Confused, he had opened the door to see her sitting on the couch, staring at the floor. She looked up when he entered, smiled, then made her way to her usual spot, and began to sing again.

It took him a while to realize that she had been waiting for him, but by that time, they had already begun their own personal war.

X-X-X-X-X

She had been confused when she felt his spiritual pressure first enter her room. It had startled her to realize who exactly it belonged to, but she had paid no heed, instead continuing with her songs, afraid she would scare him off if she spoke directly to him.

She hadn't expected him to return, and it saddened her. She had liked his silent company, even knowing who and what he was. It was lonely in Las Noches, and without Hinamori, she was utterly alone. His companionship, if it could be called that, had been appreciated.

Suffice it to say that she was probably happier then she should have been when he returned the next night.

And so it continued, his silent vigil over her singing a nightly occurrence and a welcome diversion from her rather boring, monotonous life of imprisonment. His presence became so comforting to her that she found herself falling asleep with him still there, and waking up in her own bed, strangely content and far more rested than she had been her first week.

And then he had appeared in the daylight hours, startling her somewhat, but she paid no mind, instead continuing her vigil at the window, thought she refused to sing in the daytime.

He had asked her about that once, after they had begun speaking on a regular basis, and she had answered him frankly, startling him, saying that she preferred the night, as it offered the shadows of darkness to her on silver platter, hiding all the ugliness and lies of the life she had been leading as a human, also adding that she found the moons light to be strangely soothing to her, far more so than even the warmth of the sun could compare to.

He had just given her a strange look, one of confusion and dawning comprehension, before they had been interrupted by Uluqiorra and Kaida's dinner, at which point Grimmjow had gotten up from his seat on the edge of her bed and stormed from her room in his usual temper.

She had only smiled after him, because she knew that the look in his eyes had been one of understanding.

X-X-X-X-X

_First chapter…not sure what to think of it myself…character is an OC, I'm afraid, but she's not too bad for the part. Anyway, the story explaining why she's in Hueco Mundo, why Momo's there with her, what's up with Grimmy, everything else, etc. Is currently on Hiatus until I have the time, energy, and mental capacity to actually write it. For the moment, this is just a brain teaser to get my mind back on track. _

_Thank you for your patience!!_

_And please review!!_

_Arigato!_

_WPD_


	2. Sleep Deprivation

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"Yeah, right. They wouldn't even allow me a wooden sword, so what makes you think they're gonna give me back my Zanpaku-to?" Kaida blinked at Grimmjow, a frown creasing her face as she folded her arms across her chest defensively. He shrugged.

"You haven't even tried. Weren't you the one who said "You never know until you try"? Or some other bullshit like that?" She snorted at this.

"Please, Grimmjow. I'm a Captain with an Espada level Hollow side. What makes you think Aizen, or anyone else in their right mind, would give me back one of the main sources of my power?"

Grimmjow only frowned, thinking over what she had said, before she sighed again. Pointing to his Zanpaku-to, she spoke frankly, with an edge of sarcasm in her voice.

"You want to know the real reason Aizen is only allowing Espada numbers 6 or higher into my quarters? It's because if I can get my hands on ANY Zanpaku-to, then I can find Hieimaru, and potentially kick all of your butts to Soul Society and back." He snorted in disbelief.

"Please, like that's even possible."

"It's is!" she shot back, an angry pout spreading across her face at his smug expression. "I can find Hieimaru just by touching another Zanpaku-to. Or didn't you know that?" She finished with a snide smirk, crossing her arms and tilting her head to the side, regarding him with an all knowing look. He actually growled at her.

"Don't get ahead of yourself, Shinigami. What makes you think you could lay hands on my Panthera?" Kaida grinned.

"Is that a challenge, Arrancar?" she smirked, and his eyes widened slightly, before narrowing. She chuckled, before leaning back on her pillows, against the headboard, grinning down at him at the foot of her bed, her snide smirk growing when she saw his disgruntled expression. He was the type who did not appreciate being laughed at.

She turned her eyes to the ceiling, her smirk dying slowly as she regarded the shadowed white stone. As cold and lonely as them both. Finally, she sighed, before sitting up and looking at him, crossing her legs as she leaned forward slightly.

"I can't help but ask, Grimmjow. Why do you continue to follow Aizen, even when I can see that you despise him?" He blinked at her completely serious, slightly curious expression, eyes wide as his brain comprehended the complexity of her question.

She wasn't asking him the face question, per say. She wasn't really asking why he continued to follow Aizen. She was asking what he was fighting for, what meant the most to him, what motivated him to fight the way he did. It wasn't the type of question she asked often, but he found these types of questions from her stirred something in him that urged him to answer her honestly, in all seriousness, and with none of his usual arrogance and defensiveness.

He sighed, eyes drifting shut as he thought about her question, and the answer that he _could_ give her. The only thing he needed to ask himself was if that would be the real answer he gave her, or another dead end. He could tell, without saying a word, by the way her eyes drifted to him, or away from him, sometimes, that she was trying to reach out to him. Trying to understand his world, and the days and years he had spent in it, trying to understand it himself.

Finally, he raised his head, locking eyes with her.

Red met blue, and they held for a moment, as the weight of the air around them pressed down on them.

"I've asked myself that before. But I guess that there are still a few loose ends that I need to take care of, before deciding what to do."

She nodded.

It was one of the most cryptic answers he had ever given her. But she knew, by the look in his eyes as his gaze drifted to her, or away from her, sometimes, that he was trying to let her in, if just a little, and maybe trying to get to know her a tiny bit in return.

X-X-X-X-X

Uluqiorra hadn't said a single word that first morning, when he had walked into Kaida's quarters and found Grimmjow there. He had been surprised, yes, slightly alarmed, oh hell yeah, but he said nothing as his gaze swept over the rather strange scene.

Kaida was sitting at the head of her bed, leaning back on her pillows, legs drawn up under her, neck bent and head forward as she dozed, Grimmjow's head in her lap, his taller frame stretched out across the sheets as he slept, snoring lightly.

Uluqiorra had just stood there for several moments, before backing up the way he had come, waving to the hollow pushing the trolley with Kaida's breakfast to leave it by the door, and then walked away.

There was no real point in him guarding her if Grimmjow was there. He would come back later, once the sixth had returned to his own quarters.

X-X-X-X-X

Only, Grimmjow did not return to his own quarters. Much to Uluqiorra's alarm, he remained with Kaida, never acknowledging the fourth's presence, even when he flared his rather angry reiatsu in annoyance.

Several days went by before the fourth espada finally went to Aizen, his confusion over the whole ordeal reaching a peak when, that morning, Grimmjow had answered the door before Uluqiorra had even entered, taken the tray of food, and shut the door in the fourth's face, all without saying a single word.

"You want to know why Grimmjow is being permitted to have free access to Kaida-san's quarters, when my orders were for all but yourself to stay out?" asked the former shinigami, smiling knowingly down at Uluqiorra from his throne, head tilted to the side as he spoke. The fourth nodded, completely silent. Aizen chuckled.

"Pay no heed to Grimmjow, Uluqiorra. He has done no harm, and I do believe that without him, Kaida's life here would be…unbearably boring."

X-X-X-X-X

"Don't you think he's gonna find it weird, you staying here, I mean?" asked Kaida, accepting the tray of food that Grimmjow handed her, breaking her chopsticks, picking up the bowl of noodles, and tucking in whole heartedly. He chuckled.

"There's little that goes on in Hueco Mundo that Aizen doesn't know about, I'm afraid. So if he hasn't done anything yet, I doubt he will. Besides, you don't seem to mind." At this, Kaida almost choked on her noodles, and, after a few moments of coughing, in which Grimmjow thumped her heartedly on the back, grinning the whole while, she glared up at him, grumbling obscene things under her breathe, most of which she had learned from him.

"Smartass," she finally managed, glaring at him over the rim of her bowl. He chuckled, before picking up her dango stick and sliding one off the end, before popping it in his mouth and starting to chew. She proceeded to smack him upside the head, whereafter he glared at her heatedly.

"What the fuck was that for?" he asked angrily, even as she finished off her noodles with a strange mixture of calm and annoyance stamped across her face. Setting down the bowl and chopsticks, she snatched the last two dango from his hand.

"That was for not asking." She snarled.

One of the many things they argued over was food, and Grimmjow had learned, early on, after a nasty confrontation involving her threatening to impale him with a pare of suddenly threatening wooden chopsticks, to never touch her Taiyaki, thought the rest of the tray was usually negotiable.

Sighing, he rubbed the back of his head, before regarding her curiously. He had accidentally fallen asleep in her room about two weeks prior, and had awoken to the rather strange shock of seeing her leaning over him, also asleep. Suffice it to say that he had nearly panicked in that first instant of wakefulness, but had managed to compose himself enough to explain himself to a sleepy Kaida.

Afterwards, however, when he returned to his own quarters, he found that it felt strangely empty, devoid of feeling. Of her presence. After three sleepless nights, he had returned to her side, only to fall asleep almost the instant he got there, much to his shock. Since then, he had made a habit of sleeping in her room, either on the couch, or beside her on her bed, though he never moved to touch her.

Even he knew that that was crossing a boundary as of yet discussed between the two. Despite the overwhelming urge to reach out and touch her, an urge he had suppressed for a long time, he refrained, knowing from his time with her that she was too inexperienced and fragile in that field to rush into something like that, no matter how much his body wanted it.

So the cycle continued, evolved, and changed, though it still remained nameless. A feeling, a bond, beyond comprehension. Beyond words.

X-X-X-X-X

Second chapter, still have no idea what to think, I just write this stuff…(sighs)…anyway, please read and review!!

Arigato!!

WPD.


	3. What Do We Have?

"What do we have

X-X-X-X-X

"What do we have?" he asked. She smiled, turning from the balcony to gaze at him. Hallowed by the moonlight, her face was cast into shadow.

"Faith." She replied. He only frowned.

"Is faith enough to go on? For us, I mean. It seems almost…trivial." She tilted her head to the side, thinking.

"I suppose. But you're right, of course. We could have more."

"Could?" he asked, an eyebrow raised as he stepped closer to her. She smiled again.

"Sure. But for now there's you and me. What else do we need?" He paused, mulling over what she had said.

"True." He said softly, frowning. She grinned.

"You think too much about stupid things. Useless things." He raised an eyebrow.

"How so?" She sighed.

"What else is there except us?" she asked, stepping closer to him so that she could look up into his teal eyes. He blinked.

"You shouldn't need an excuse to love me, and vice versa. We just are." He nodded slowly.

"Again, true, but you know better than anyone that the Shinigami will want an explanation. You're not exactly expendable." She snorted.

"They can deal with it. We are, and that's all there is to it. Damn them if they don't understand."

"You're really willing to gamble everything on me, aren't you?"

"Yes," she said, without hesitation, smiling up at him, the moonlight illuminating her features, making her happy, glowing smile seem even brighter. He smiled too, not his usual smirk, but a real smile, full of warmth and happiness.

As their shadows blended, falling across the stone floor as one darkness, a soft wind picked up, floating across the barren wasteland known as Los Noches, carrying with it two people's hope for a better tomorrow.

X-X-X-X-X

The end, sorta.

I'll pick up the rest with Enter the Dragon, but I have to fix some fatal glitches first, or it won't flow worth shit…

Anyway, C U SOON!!

Read and Review, Please.

Arigato!!

WPD!!


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